


Saving My Life

by hyumagashi



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author is bad at titles so he uses kpop songs to help him, Emotional Baggage, Emotions, Feelings, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, In conclusion let scary looking men be soft, Kinda, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, Pining, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, Too soft, You’ll notice how unhinged this is with the movie LMFAO, bc I know how crazy y’all be getting with smut in the expendables... and I just can’t write that, just try it, only baby amount, so trigger warning.. if you’re sensitive to this type of thing please refrain from reading, some elements of canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23124769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyumagashi/pseuds/hyumagashi
Summary: Gay psychopaths get really emotional AU !
Relationships: Hector/Jean Vilain
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	Saving My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, I’m writing something for Scott Adkins. I’m honestly really surprised it’s not for Boyka, but he’s... he’s coming soon. 😔
> 
> This will probably be the most out of character thing I ever write holy shitttt but it’s an AU so it don’t count.
> 
> So anyway, title inspiration: Butterfly Effect- EXO. Go stream.
> 
> Yes, I’m aware of how out-of-character this is. Y’all don’t...need to remind me. 😔 I just thought I’d through this out there for the people who are as soft as I am.
> 
> Also I’m aware I suck at making fics that don’t feel like rollercoaster rides LMFAOOO

Rainy days, those seemed to be a popular theme lately. Everyday, it’s rained for the past two weeks. It’s been relatively cold too. Early this morning, Hector needed to stay close to Vilain in order for him to feel just a little bit warmer than he already did.

But he wasn’t here at the moment, Vilain was out doing whatever the hell he does when he’s not home. Why wasn’t Vilain home? It was cold outside, raining too. But the rain wasn’t falling as hard as had been for the last couple of days.

A sweater that Vilain had gifted to him a few years ago, that was now ripped, and sweatpants were all that the Russian had on that day. All he did was sit in the middle of the living room, in front of the fire, with a pack of cigarettes in his left hand. But, Hector never smoked inside. Because he knew how much Vilain _hated_ the smell of cigarettes.

He respected Vilain, he respected his wishes. Anything he wanted, Hector would scrap up whatever energy he had left, and got it for him. Because Vilain has sacrificed so much for him, and Hector wants to do the same.

Staring out the window seemed to be something that Hector really seemed to enjoy doing lately, it brought him to happier times. Maybe, the time he met Vilain. The only time he’s really ever _felt_ any kind of enjoyment.

Now that he was deeper in thought, Vilain really has given Hector _a lot_ . Nothing fancy, really. Just old clothes, old jewelry he bought years ago that he thought Hector would appreciate. Yet, it was the first time Hector had ever _gotten_ anything from somebody he cared about.

It was the first time he had ever gotten anything from somebody who cared about him. That’s all he’s ever wanted, somebody who cares about him.

Hector has that now, but pools of regret are still sitting still at the back of his mind. Neither of them know why, Hector hasn’t done anything, and Vilain wasn’t there to experience what it was like for Hector growing up.

Subconsciously, Hector flips the lid to the pack of cigarettes open, then proceeds to close it again. Did he need to smoke? He hoped not, he knew how much Vilain hated the smell of cigarettes, he’d hate to disappoint Vilain.

Disappointing Vilain stings worse than disapproval from anybody else. If it wasn’t Vilain, who cares? They didn’t care about him, he doesn’t care about them. Vilain was different. He was closer to him, he gave him everything. And it would hurt to have it all go… up into flames.

Hector began to scratch his beard, now he couldn’t stop thinking about Vilain. And he hated that sometimes. There were times, where Hector wished he didn’t need Vilain as much as he did. But, it wasn’t like he was going to trust himself to make sure he kept breathing. He couldn’t… that was too big of a task for him.

Hector stayed where he was, deep in thought, looking out the window, trying to get rid of that _awful_ memory himself and Vilain getting similar neck tattoos. He’s not sure how he remembers that, because he can’t seem to remember anything else from that night.

The door begins to unlock, and Hector doesn’t bother to look to see who it is, it’s Vilain. Who else would it be? Hector continues to stare out the window, at least until Vilain tries to get his attention.

“Hector,” Vilain addresses, in a joking tone. He isn’t sure why Hector _still_ had that sweater that he gifted him years ago, “ _Why_ do you still have that sweater? You know I can easily get you another one, right?”

Popping a cigarette into his mouth, Hector sighs. He wasn’t going to light it, not yet.

“I don’t need another one,” Hector insisted, something about his Russian accent sounded so demanding, “This one is fine.”

It’s not that he didn’t need another one, he didn’t _want_ another one. As weird as it is, he liked this sweater, because it was Vilain’s. Used to be, anyway.

“It has holes in it.” Vilain _very_ straightforwardly stated. By now, he had gotten used to Hector’s possessiveness when it came to things that used to be his. He remembers giving him a necklace, Hector wore that necklace everyday, never taking it off, until it broke.

“I go nowhere with it.” Hector deadpanned, his words sounding slurred as his tounge now had to share space with a cigarette. Vilain laughed, after dealing with this for a few years it begins to get amusing to watch.

Vilain began to observe Hector, cigarette in his mouth, his pack in his right hand, he was fidgeting with it. He definitely _thought_ about smoking, Vilain doesn’t know why he didn’t just go outside.

“Did you smoke in here?” Vilain interrogates, “doesn’t smell like it. Looks that way, though.”

“No.” Hector answered, he wouldn’t do that to Vilain. That’d hurt too much.

“Would have gotten you a lighter, but I forgot to pick one up while I was out.” Vilain explained, digging into his pocket to give Hector another old necklace he found in storage.

Hector shook his head, Vilain didn’t need to do that for him. He didn’t need to do anything for him, if it meant it had to come out of his pocket.

“Found this while I was looking for something today, thought you might like it.” Vilain announced, handing him the necklace.

A shark tooth necklace, Vilain was into those back in the day. But he couldn’t remember what he saw in them. Whatever he saw in them, maybe Hector can see in it to.

Hector eyed Vilain, then looked back at the necklace. The fact that he still trusted him with these things, the fact that he still trusted him.

Slowly, Hector accepted the necklace. He takes a bit of time to observe it, to see if it was real or not. It was, Hector wasn’t sure if he should feel worried. But, it wasn’t like Vilain pulled this directly from a shark’s mouth.

“Thank you.” Hector appreciated, he put on the necklace just as slowly as he accepted it. He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair while he did it.

Vilain began to remove his black dress shirt, slinging it over his shoulder. He stood over the couch, a couple feet away from Hector. He began to untuck his white tank top from the black pants he had on to match with the shirt.

“Thought you were upset after the other necklace broke. So when I saw it, I thought about you.” Vilain claims. 

Hector began to nod, he had not much of a reaction to it breaking. Anybody else would just say he was neutral about it. But he was upset, Hector knew it, and so did Vilain.

Allowing his arms to rest on top of the couch, Vilain began to lean forward. Observing Hector quite literally _sit there_ , he doesn’t know how long he’s been there. But he hasn’t moved a whole lot.

“It’s been raining quite a lot.” Vilain added, it was just beginning to stop. Though, the sun was still nowhere to be seen.

“I know.” Hector replied, he noticed, so has everyone else. This was just a way for Vilain to introduce something that Hector would rather not discuss about. By now, Hector’s gotten used to it. Only because he trusts Vilain.

Hector spits the cigarette, for now. Getting mentally prepared. for whatever it was Vilain wanted to talk to him about. 

“You’ve been really quiet lately.” Vilain noticed, which was a strange thing to notice. Hector was always quiet, but Vilain was reading something in him. Something irregular.

“I’m always like this.” Hector retorted, it was true. Hector was always quiet but there was just something in his silence that Vilain started to pick up on.

Vilain’s eyes began to wander around the living room, somehow the fire Hector placed himself behind. His eyes traveled back onto Hector, where the two of them made eye contact.

“Hector,” Vilain started, “Have you noticed a change, at all?”

Hector shook his head before really understanding what he had meant by that, Hector doesn’t notice much anyway. Most of _anything_ flies right over his head.

“Are you sure?” Vilain asks, he places his chin on his forearms, his persistence still in his voice. Despite asking such a casual question.

“Yes.” Hector nods, what’s changed? As far as he was concerned, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Okay, let’s try something new,” Vilain insisted, climbing over the couch. He had forgotten to take off his shoes again, neither of them really cared that much for the shoes coming into contact with the couch cushions, “Have you noticed a change in me at all?”

“I haven’t.” Hector stated, Vilain’s been the same as far as Hector is concerned.

He’s never left him, if that was what Vilain wanted to hear.

“What about…in _you?_ ” Vilain asked, he wasn’t expecting him to answer correctly at all. He just wanted to see if Hector noticed what he noticed.

Hector wasn’t sure what Vilain wanted him to say, whenever he did this shit, Hector got really nervous. It let him know that he fucked up somewhere, again. When it came to Vilain, he never liked to do that.

Yes? No? What was he supposed to say?

“I…I don’t know what you want me to say.” Hector responds. Vilain chuckled, but it wasn’t the loud ones he always seemed to let out. It was soft, felt extremely sympathetic.

“I didn’t either,” Vilain added, “But, I noticed something.”

Hector wasn’t sure what it was, but he just hoped it wasn’t anything relating to him.

“Something in you, it’s changed. But, I’ve seen it before. _We’ve_ seen it before.” Vilain announced.

Hector nods, running his fingers through his hair once more. He thinks he knows… 

By now, he thinks he knows.

“Are you okay?” Vilain wondered, as he crossed his arms, “You’ve been distant.”

Distant, that was new.

Instead of his quiet nod, or the silent shake to his head, Hector doesn’t respond. Not at first, at least. Because he wasn’t sure if he _was._

“I don’t know, I don’t think so…” Hector responded, he wasn’t. Not lately, even with Vilain around, he feels alone. That seemed to be how he felt most days, alone.

“You shouldn’t lie to me, Hector.” Vilain advised, it wouldn’t make Hector feel any better. In fact, it’d make him feel worse. Much worse.

Hector nods, still unsure of what to say. As emotional as he was capable of getting, Hector’s strong suit was never bringing up why he felt the way he did. Vilain always had to do that.

He wondered if Vilain ever got tired of that.

“I’m not, I just don’t know what you want me to say.” Hector sighs, he picks the cigarette back up, electing to place it in the back of his ear.

“I just want you to tell me what you want me to do.” Vilain instructed, leaning back into the couch. Hector began to sigh, placing his pack of cigarettes in the pocket that was barely capable of keeping it inside. Hector began to shake his head.

“I don’t know, what can you do? Maybe, you’ve done everything you can. Maybe, there’s nothing you _can_ do.” Hector ranted, as nonchalantly as his voice would let him get.

“Okay, let’s try this,” Vilain started, uncrossing 

his arms, allowing himself to lean forward, “ _What_

do you want?”

Hector quite honestly wanted a lot of things, to feel alright, not to be dependant on cigarettes and Vilain to feel alright, but that would be asking for too much, wouldn’t it?

“No,” Hector coughed, “It’s not worth it, what I want is…”

Vilain makes his way off of the couch, and on the floor, in front of the fire, beside Hector. He rests his forearm on Hector’s shoulder, leaning a bit closer to him.

“To die?” Vilain questioned, even though it was obvious. Hector never liked to bring it up, or talk about it. Vilain was always the one who had to do this for him.

Hector began to nod, again. And it stung a bit to look at him do it as he closed his eyes.

Hector always closed his eyes, to evade tears.

Vilain began to bring that same arm all the way around Hector, letting it hang, so that Hector could cling onto it.

“Is there a reason why you keep it all from me?” Vilain asks, “Do you trust me?”

Hector vehemently nods, of course he does. He trusts this man with his life, Hector had his trust too. And supposedly, he was afraid of losing it.

“I trust you, I trust you more than I trust myself,” Hector claimed, and he meant that, “Without you, I’d be… I’d be dead.”

That more than likely would have been the outcome. 

“There is one thing I’d like from you, actually.” Hector mumbled, only loud enough for the two of them to hear, as Hector shifted his body, pressing his forehead against Vilain’s neck.

“ _Don’t…leave me,_ ” Hector begged in a whisper, as selfish as it was, it was all he really needed, “ _You are… the only thing I have.”_

Vilain laughed, not how emotional he was being, but because of the fact that Hector thought he had some elaborate plan to leave him.

Using his fist, he pressed Hector off of him, using the same fist to pick up his chin. Vilain began to run his fingers through his hair, that always seemed to calm Hector down.

The two of them share a kiss, Hector sighed as soon as they had broken it, pressing his head against his neck once more.

“You know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Vilain joked, Hector began to shake his head, trying his best to hide his grin. 

“Fuck you.” Hector cursed in Russian, still trying to hide his grin.

“What was that?” Vilain questioned, beginning to lie down, bringing Hector down with him. Hector sighed, his face still buried in Vilain’s neck.

“Nothing.” Hector growled, softly.

The two of them lied with each other on the warm wooden floor, in each other's arms, allowing whatever time was left to pass. It wasn’t long before Hector had managed to fall asleep. Ironic, considering the fact that he does that more than anything else.

Vilain continued to run his hands through Hector’s hair, it calmed him down, and it seemed to calm Hector down too. He lets out a sigh, as he begins to look out of the window. The rain was back, and the natural light was beginning to dim.

“Goodnight.” Vilain whispered, pecking Hector’s forehead as he softly snored into his neck, “I hope this helps you sleep a little better.” Vilain mumbles in french. He never said it enough, but he deeply cared for this emotionally-supressive man.

**Author's Note:**

> gay ass fucking psychopath


End file.
